Breaking the Vicious Cycle

 

Sooner or later, we all reach a point in life (sometimes more than once) when we say to ourselves: “I can’t take it anymore, I’m tired, I’ve had enough, something has to change!” The problem is that, more often than not, these thoughts are just fleeting reactions. We may say them for a day, a week, or even a month, but as soon as things start to get slightly better, we forget about the chaos we were in. We settle back into the same vicious cycle, convincing ourselves that “it’s not that bad, after all.” And so it goes, until life – or the universe, God, Allah, whatever you choose to call it – gives us another test, another “slap on the back of the head.” That’s when we complain that we’re unlucky, cursed by fate, or that the stars are misaligned.

But there are also those who, tired of these dysfunctional patterns, decide to open their eyes and see clearly what’s happening and what they could actually change. There’s something within us – a voice that asks questions, that observes the “character” we’re playing and notices its flaws. So what do we do? We turn to prayer, give up drinking, become vegetarians, hoping that these changes will fix everything. But, most of the time, we end up falling back into the same patterns. Why? Because no matter how much we try to change the external things, if we don’t fix the “attic” – our mind – nothing will truly be different.

The mind is a fantastic tool but also a trap. It provides solutions based on the information we’ve given it, but it’s also cunning. It loves comfort, routine, and will do everything to keep you in your comfort zone. It won’t push you to try something new or unfamiliar. However, when you begin to understand that you are not your mind and that all the programs installed by your parents, school, or society do not define you, that’s when real change begins.

For those who feel something isn’t right in their lives, you don’t need to make drastic changes right away. All you need to do is start observing yourself – pay attention to your thoughts, reactions, and patterns. Become so aware of them that, when you sit with a psychologist or reflect on your own, you can recognize what you’ve discovered: laugh at your mistakes, cry for them, and realize how your mind has been leading you, without you even being fully conscious of it.

That’s where the real work with yourself begins. When you see how “smart” you thought you were, you realize just how much your mind has controlled you, making you believe you were above it all. But the moment you bow your head and understand that you’ve been a prisoner of your own mind, you see the light within you. You begin to realize that the peace, love, and happiness you’ve been searching for externally have been inside you all along. And then, for the first time, you slowly start to discover who YOU truly are.